I'm not totally sure why this happened even, which frustrates me further. If I knew where the weaknesses lay, I'd just eliminate them. Possibly it was folding under the expectations of both myself and others, possibly it was the strange calm I was feeling instead of trying to reach a more aroused state? Maybe it was just the 'flash pump' I got on the first problem - most likely it was all of the above plus other factors I haven't identified yet.
Gaz was amazing. There are very few occasions where I'm genuinely impressed and inspired by other climbers, but seeing him yesterday was one of them. A perfect round in the qualifiers having only done a few other minor comps this year. The difference isn't strength, it's technique and masses of experience topped with determination that you rarely see. I have three of those, just not always on every day (even technique when I need to, believe it or not). The fourth is I guess what will be taken from this disaster - I really felt that in most comps a major strength was my experience, I'd made so many mistakes in the past, I'd got most of them out of the system. But this is a new level and so I guess the process starts all over again.
I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. -Michael Jordan-
This quote says it all for me, it's a snapshot of what it takes to be the best. I believe in it and have done for many years, it's got me past a lot of poor performances. It will take time probably measured in years, and many more painful analyses of what went wrong, but I will stand on that podium.
Munich in 4 weeks.
